Have you ever thought about how, in a D&D game, what type of magic you’d need to tame drakes, kobolds, goblins, etc…? As we know, if I kept listing all the living creatures my spell could affect, it would never end. 😅
We are going to be in a normal bard’s bag: a lyre, flute, trumpet, drums, tambourines… and some sticky toys at the very bottom. Next to the toys… a Bible? We simply don’t ask. 😏
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After this long intro, I want to talk about my ideal kit for taming & training for allure and seduction—even of the evil monsters. 🪄
This is a classic in fantasy (and non-fantasy) worlds. Is there anything more badass than feeling strong power inside you? 💥
Remember, this is part of our training kit. 10/10 if you want to train your width and maybe learn some cantrips. We don’t know where it came from, but with this, our bard is always in a good mood. 😎
Yes, I’m talking in third person… I’m too shy to admit I love magic fisting with a magic hand 😏. Magic powers and magic pleasure combined—did I say it’s magical? 🔮
I was thinking… why does the crew always hate the bard for having “great ideas”? But I’ve never seen a rogue relaxing a barbarian in berserk mode. How do you convince someone whose gray matter is equivalent to a peanut? 🤯
This is why, if you want a bard from challenger level instead of silver, you have to train your reflexes and parries. And yes… I made a mold of his “sword” just in case he lost it 😈
Don’t get me wrong, this is the real deal. It’s said to amplify your magical power—about the equivalent of a rabbit leg 🐇. I hoped for luck, and apparently, it works. 🍀
You might expect a long story about demons attacking us, succubi, and incubus… but the truth is simpler. A shadow demon crashed into a tree the night before and died next to a rat it tried to… well, let’s just say the dice rolled a 1. 🎲 LACK OF SEX
At first, my racist crew didn’t even know what a Firbolg was 😅. They are like humanoid cows fused with a handsome troll 🐮🧌. I really loved them when I first met them, but we disagreed on many things. They loved nature, but I needed a lyre made of their sacred tree… so I chose wisely. 🌳
Let’s just say some magic happened, and I got very close to one of my new companions. A very good boy, inside and out 😏❤️
Breaking up with someone you used to love isn’t fair, and it’s very hard—at least that’s what my old lovers said. 💔
Thanks to wardering bard toys for this incredible desingns based in what anyone could have during a D&D campaing. Love you all hope you still playing as a OTP Bard . See you soon !!!!!.
This week, we received a special gift from Funzze: a P-spot massager for review. I will provide a fully honest evaluation, including both green flags and red flags, while sharing my personal experience in detail.
Overview & How It Works 🤔
The main goal of this toy is prostate (P-spot) stimulation, which has far more potential than many realize.
Unlike many toys in this category that simply vibrate in place, the Funzze P-Spot Massagerfeatures a thrusting movement. Initially, this motion may feel unusual, but after getting used to it, it provides a comfortable and highly pleasurable experience.
The combination of thrusting and vibration stimulates both the P-spot and the perineum, resulting in a deeper, more intense sensation. This is a noticeable difference compared to other toys I’ve tried, which often only offer vibration or a static design.
Receiving the Package 📦
While I was excited to receive the toy, the delivery process was somewhat frustrating. The product arrived three weeks after ordering; however, after contacting Funzze, it arrived the next day. Despite this delay, the package was well-protected and arrived in good condition.
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Unboxing 🎁
The massager comes in a small branded box. Inside, I found:
A magnetic charger, confirming that the toy is waterproof
A small storage bag, perfect for hygiene and portability
The massager itself, which was larger than I initially expected
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The packaging is simple and discreet, but functional, making it suitable for storage or travel.
First Use & Preparation 🫢
I decided to try the toy last Friday, when I had some time alone. After taking a shower and preparing a clean space, I applied X-Lube from my Breedr bottle (I mixed the leftover Breedr lube with X-Lube). This combination worked perfectly, ensuring smooth and comfortable insertion.
Using the toy for the first time, I focused on understanding the thrusting movement and the vibration patterns, experimenting with speed and intensity.
3d audio soundwave. White music pulse oscillation. Glowing impulse pattern.
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Feelings & Performance
The toy provided a very positive experience:
Texture & insertion: The massager is smooth, making initial insertion effortless
Thrusting movement: Pleasant and pain-free. While I would have preferred a tip more focused on the P-spot, this is a minor detail and largely a personal preference
Stimulation: The combination of thrusting and vibration created a strong, enjoyable pressure, especially during orgasm
Comparison to other toys: I can confidently say this is one of my favorite toys. While my fisting toys require training and preparation, this massager provides immediate satisfaction without extra effort
Water -based lube made a slippery unforgetable experience and comfortable throughout the session.
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Despite of the expectatives the toy features 8 different types of vibrations and thrusting movements, which can be combined freely for a total of 64 unique mode combinations. This allows you to finely control your experience and find the perfect mode for your preference.
Discretion & Usability
Noise: The massager isn’t completely silent. Small sounds may be noticeable if others are nearby, though it is not excessively loud
Design & flexibility: The straight shape is necessary for the thrusting mechanism, but it limits mobility. Using the toy while sitting, walking, or multitasking may cause minor discomfort
Comfort: Overall, the sensations were never painful, just a subtle internal pressure during use
Despite minor limitations, the toy is highly usable and comfortable for most solo or partnered sessions. The perfect multitask buddy for those busy and boring days.
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Remote Control
The remote control is one of the toy’s standout features:
Works up to 26 ft (7,92m), making it suitable for solo play or partner use
Two buttons:
Perineum vibration, stimulating the line connecting the testicles to the butt with 8 different vibrations.
Thrusting speed control, allowing you to adjust the pace according to preference . Between 8 types of movement.
The remote makes this toy perfect for a partner session, a discreet gift, or simply exploring different settings without interrupting play.
Pros & Cons
✅ Green Flags:
Smooth and comfortable texture
Unique thrusting mechanism
Strong stimulation for both P-spot and perineum
Waterproof and easy to clean
Remote control with good range
🚩Red Flags:
Slight noise during use
Straight and rigid design limits mobility
Tip could be more focused on the P-spot
My experience
My experience with this product was very good despite the minor cons.
This isn’t a toy that will instantly take you to mind-blowing orgasms; preparation matters. Cleaning yourself properly and approaching play with confidence is key. Think of your hole as a door—the toy becomes your battering ram.
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For beginners, understanding hygiene and pacing is crucial. This toy is ideal if you have a private bedroom and want to avoid noise, and in my experience, its performance justifies its price. Compared to other toys at similar prices in Spain, this one delivers better quality and satisfaction
Conclusion
The Funzze P-Spot Massager exceeded my expectations. It combines thrusting and vibration effectively, delivers strong prostate stimulation, and is enjoyable both solo and with a partner.
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Despite minor drawbacks like slight noise and a rigid design, this is a high-quality, functional, and satisfying toy. I would recommend it to anyone exploring prostate stimulation, especially those looking for a toy that’s immediately enjoyable and easy to use.
The toy also comes with a small storage bag, which your personal hygiene will thank you for.
I really hope you enjoyed this review as much as we enjoyed “playing” with this toy 😏. We aren’t paid for these reviews, so everything here is honest and personal.
This is just me and my partner having fun while sharing our experiences—and helping you make informed choices. Everything is free for you, but if you’d like to support us and help us get more toys to test, a small donation would be amazing. Every bit helps us keep bringing honest, hands-on reviews—and of course, more fun!
Big thanks to Funzze for trusting us with their products.
Inspired by roleplay games, I decided to assemble my ideal crew, chosen not only for their skills and races, but also for how their sticks and pussys reflect their personalities in a DnD campaign.
Druid-Squish
Don’t understimate this small duck , he is the more powerful sorcerer in the 8 kingdoms , cursered by his master , afraid of his vanity and pride wasn’t qualities a Druid would have ,he can shapeshift to any form he wishes except his/her original form of Kobold .
We need a solid frontline, someone with thick scales and almost impenetrable skin, and that’s why I’ve chosen a Lizard for this role. With flameable potential and natural resilience, the Fighter can absorb punishment and lead attacks with elegance.
I’ve picked Kinky Cobra, a sub of the Red Prince, whose sneaky swordplay matches his noble background. His spear and armor enhance his natural prowess, turning even a straightforward duel into a spectacle of strategy and precision. In the party, he’s the shield we stay behind, opening paths for everyone else while maintaining style.
The silence is her friend. Sahleen, the anthro cat, grew up in the darkest and most dangerous streets of the kingdom. Even before she could speak, she was stealing jewelry from the rich with nothing but her paws and her cunning. Her life has always been about slipping past dangers unnoticed, moving like a shadow where others stumble and fall.
Her boldest heist, the crown of the kingdom itself, went wrong—the guards caught her, and she was thrown into the dungeon. But freedom was inevitable, and it didn’t take long before she escaped, leaving nothing but whispers and empty cells behind her.
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She’s elegant, lethal, and mischievous, a perfect femme fatale. Wherever stealth, sabotage, or secrets are needed, Sahleen is already there, waiting in the shadows. Don’t mistake her beauty for weakness—her allure has assassinated many soldiers without hesitation. And though she would never admit it, she felt herself drawn to Kinky Cobra, the noble Fighter whose strength and elegance complement her own cunning perfectly.
Coming from another reality, a natural disaster transformed him into the bloody killer he is today. Don’t beg mercy for the past—the word itself has lost all meaning. Without a home or friends, he wanders in search of new battles to recover the meaning of life after the disaster.
https://bad-dragon.com/products/stan
He is the tank, the unstoppable Barbarian, who doesn’t care about glory or his fellows. He only wants to feel happiness again. Sickened by treason and false words, he will protect those who don’t run at the sight of him. He is not evil—just exhausted from fighting his own mind instead of the true enemies.
Don’t ask him about jewelry or weapons—with his teeth and size, you would need an army of a thousand arrows just to make him lie down.
Coming from the lost kingdom of Agartha, a hidden realm made secret by the enchanting songs of its merfolk, he has always lived between legend and ego. Proud of making ship crews fight each other, he calls himself the Underwater Diva—and one can only imagine the scale of that ego.
He left his home searching for opportunities in the opera, but his singing was so extraordinary that no one could rank it objectively. Eventually, he discovered the power of touching the battery—an absolute rockstar, capable of inspiring courage and lifting allies to fight even the undefeatable.
In the party, the Bard is the spark, the motivator, and the manipulator of moods. His presence turns any battle into a performance, his songs guide the group, and his ego is as mighty as his magic. He doesn’t just fight—he makes others feel unstoppable.
I don’t think any crew could make them bite the dust. Each member has different objectives, but they share one destiny: to defeat gods, whether for a better world… or for their own selfish ambitions.
Well, this is the kind of thing I do when I love a design and want them all but don’t have a billionaire’s budget. These were also my first experience with fantasy sex toys after joining a furry Discord they were obsessed with Bad Dragon. I really love the designs of all of them, especially the draconic ones. For me, they look so cool that I could even use them as house decorations if I could.
I’m also a big fan of dinosaurs and Monster Hunter, and just look at these! I love the part in the video game when the OG looks at the camera and says, “I’m the Monster Fucker”—oh wait, I think it was Monster Hunter. Anyway, they don’t really talk throughout the game.
Which I prefer to call «Anubis el rompeculos,» Spanish joke, hehe. Well, I really love the marks on it; I know this might sound stupid, but it looked so mythical. I mean, it has the aura, and I love that. Also, the color of the model I see is perfect — my favorite color is purple. What a coincidence. I really hope the archaeologist who discovered this artifact didn’t use it.
My «judgement» after life has to be so good that even if the feather weighs more than the heart, I’ll stay alive. This is my plan: I will train all my life with these toys. And when he goes along with me… BANG! I flirt with him and save my life. Perfect plan.
If you are scared of the abyssal, don’t go to the wasteland, the habitat of an old experiment, whose prey are those who go near the glowing stick fallen on the floor. Like abyssal fishes, it hunts the same way, creates a distraction, and seconds before you notice, you are in danger as it jumps at you.
Don’t underestimate a failed experiment that has the ability to adapt to the ecosystem. The glow of its skin doesn’t come from the laboratory; it comes from the radioactive food, which surprisingly helps in its dark hunts. Some others who said they saw him, looking aroused, claimed he jumped on them in a different way.
After thousands of years of boredom, Taurion followed Ariadna’s thread and discovered that a red string can lead to opportunities—even in the adult industry. He’s famous in the fisting category because while he may lack length, his width more than compensates.
Imagine a mountain forged by calamity; his scales are so tough that not even a dark arrow could pierce them. The greed of this dragon isn’t new to us—he uses all the gems he steals as decorations for his shiny armor. Who in their right mind would want to be near such a creature, surrounded by gems, rocks, and stone?
He knows the scent of a dwarf and finds it disgusting. He’s got more style than those dirty miners. But he can’t go far—his weight prevents him from flying away. When he was a pup, he was more of a dragon than the drake he is now. Yet, spending so much time alone may have awakened some unusual thoughts. In his reproductive age, he might start looking for a partner to stay with.
Do you want his gems? Would you dare take advantage of him?
Such a cute name for someone who doesn’t need to use his arms for opening your legs. As I said before, I’m quite a fan of dinosaurs and Stan T-rex is one of my favorites, I don’t know why. Jurassic Park was a good film, but Stan made me think of possibilities that younger me didn’t dream of before.
The park may have had rules, pens, and boundaries, but Stan doesn’t just sit there. He knows how to make an entrance, breaking free when the situation allows it, showing that he’s not just powerful but also clever.
Now I wonder—should I cut off the electricity and have some fun, or listen to my fear? Either way, the unleashed beast is in charge. Should I go say hello or let him take the lead? (Without hands.) I’m so nervous.
Honor Mentions
I decided to honor a few toys that fought their way close to these positions but didn’t quite make the final cut. It wasn’t them , It was me .
Get ready for the best cunnilingus you’ll ever experience. Winston is the definition of versatile—like a 4×4 Land Rover, he’s ready for anything: dirt, clean, front, back. He doesn’t give a damn—his mother taught him to taste everything. Such a kind, fearless guy.
Winter is short, but with Echo the Snow Strider, you can stride through it like never before. Every slope, every curve, every ridge along his shaft makes you feel like you’re gliding through icy trails, riding the winter spirit.
He warms you from the inside out as you move, and just like a true strider, he lets you conquer every peak and dip with control and pleasure. Do you want to keep winter during summer ? .
This crazy top was created for entertainment and to showcase my favorite design of Bad Dragon. I wrote this entirely on my own; it’s not a promotion, I’m not affiliated with the brand, I simply love the designs of these toys. If you want to see more tops like this, don’t forget to check out : Spooky Toys, Hankey’s Toys Tier List , and Fantasy Grinders.
I would appreciate it a lot if you enjoy my content — please comment, leave a like, or give me a follow. Sharing would be lovely too. Thank you all for reading this. I love you all! Or just tell me: do you like being pegged? Would you love to have these toys? Or maybe you already own one? I hope you love this world as much as I do. See you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!🍑❤️
Hello everyone! This week we’ve been busy with some academic chores, but we also had the chance to test a new toy from Funzze. They gave us the opportunity to try one of their amazing products, and I can assure you that my review will be 100% honest. So, I’m going to balance what we liked with what could be improved. 🙂
Waterproof Something very common nowadays, yes, but still great to have and always appreciated. 💧
Very Good Price If you’re starting a relationship or simply want to try toys without spending too much, I highly recommend giving this one a try. At this price point, you can’t expect premium design or finishes, but for a toy you can use countless times, it’s absolutely worth it. 💸
Secure Fit Once inserted, you don’t have to worry about it falling out. It attaches very well, so no extra effort is needed. ✔️
User Experience The tester was my partner — he doesn’t get along well with English, so I’m writing on his behalf. He didn’t give me many details, but the ones he did were powerful: the orgasm was amazing, especially because of the G-spot stimulation. He wasn’t in the mood at first, but he gave it a chance… and wow. 🔥
He has always dreamed of doing those dynamics you see on TikTok, like using a butt plug with a remote control to play with your partner. Well, now you can.
Also, the packaging was super discreet. I’m from Spain, and it was shipped from the US. I can guarantee that the mailman, my mom, my dad — no one had any clue about what was inside the package. 📦
Details That Matter One thing I love — and that shows the company pays attention — is that the remote control includes the battery. Usually when you buy a toy with a remote, your whole clean, tidy house turns into a horror movie while you search for random batteries. But here, the remote came ready to use with the clock battery included. And even after two weeks, both the toy and the remote still have charge. 🔋
Another detail I absolutely adore is that the toy comes with its own cute little storage bag. That hygienic and aesthetic touch always wins my heart.
Made Different We all know some toys share similar models across brands, but the small details are what make you choose one brand over another. The quality here is truly good. The silicone is soft, hypoallergenic, and has that premium feel I really love. The toy feels like a single solid piece — no visible joints — which makes me think it won’t open or fall apart over time. Some toys we’ve bought in the past start looking disassembled after a year, but this one feels different.
Dislikes
The clitoris part doesn’t attach as well as the other arm, and its vibration isn’t as strong as we initially thought it would be. Does this mean it’s a bad product? Never. It might look big if it’s your first toy, but it’s nothing you can’t adapt to. It feels more like an “adventure” toy than a specialized one, which is completely normal.
Conclusion
Our final score for the Dual Stim Vibe would be 7–8/10. To give you context, a 10 would be a superior, top-quality toy. This is a very good choice at a low-budget price. Even though the brand is not very well known to me, the quality is as good as other toys in the same world, like We-Vibe. This was a great opportunity for my partner and me to try something new. We don’t usually look into this type of market, but we’re more than happy to show more people that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to get quality toys. 🙂
If you want to buy it, remember that Funzze made this possible. Also, this was a surprise package — we didn’t know what they were going to send us. I hope you liked this review! Don’t forget to share it with your friends and subscribe if you don’t want to miss any new posts. Comment below what you would like us to review and which topics you’d love for us to talk about. We love you! 💖
Are you ready to explore the wildest, most fantastical grinders out there? From jungles full of surprises to Lovecraftian seas and haunted relics, these top picks aren’t just toys—they’re adventures waiting to happen.
Whether you’re a seasoned pleasure explorer or just looking to add a little mischief to your collection, this Top 5 Fantasy Grinders will take you on a journey you won’t forget… if you dare.
Do you want a lotus flower but don’t have enough space for one? Look no further than the Dahlia. You can use it as a hair clip—a pretty, discreet ornament—and nobody will be aware of your sinful acts.
Our friends at Faux Phallus know we love taking care of our plants just as much as we take care of our pleasure. As a Percy Jackson fan, I must warn you: beware eating the lotus—you’ll lose track of time.
I’d love to be the boat for that Kraken… and happily sink if it’s with you. Lovers of pirates, today we won’t chase treasure—we’ve already found it. This isn’t as discreet as the Dahlia, but anyone without sexual knowledge won’t understand why your little treasure is wet. You could simply claim it was a stormy night with loud sounds—nobody would question it.
This design from Uncover Creations is multi-use: a grinder with a surprising twist. We love the Kraken sinking a boat motif—will you complete the treasure hunt, or be devoured by the Kraken?
This thematic knee pad will surprise your partner—what at first looks elegant and decorative will end up surprising everyone in the room, including the pillow.
Who wouldn’t love to explore this jungle? For us, it’s the off-road of surfaces, a place where adventure waits around every leaf and curve. I’m sure it will be the most thrilling rainforest experience you’ve ever had, full of unexpected turns and sensations.
These leaves might not produce oxygen, but we’re pretty sure you’ll generate more CO₂ than you ever imagined. Whether you’re tackling the undergrowth or taking the scenic route, every moment feels like a wild expedition—one that will keep you coming back for more.
At this point, you might think we’re obsessed with tentacles—and in some ways, you’re right. But we were hypnotized by the call of this aquatic creature. Is it a god? A monster? We lack the technology and courage to ask.
You’ll run out of oxygen without even being underwater. This type of power only comes from a Lovecraftian creature. Nothosaur is the messenger of its legends..
Coming from another reality, where the ghost-hunters didn’t make it, comes this strange relic—an artifact we kept at a distance, afraid it might possess one of us. The ghost inside this object will escape and make your sinful wishes come true… in exchange for your breath.
Be sure to end the session properly—we’re not certain what dangers might be unleashed. The last person who didn’t close it was found with stains over the head and bed… and what happened after brought their twisted fantasies to light.
We absolutely loved diving into this research for the good of humanity, exploring the wildest, most fantastical grinders out there. From jungles full of surprises to haunted relics and Lovecraftian seas, it was an adventure in itself. We hope you enjoy reading about these treasures just as much as we enjoyed discovering, testing, and sharing them with you. Prepare yourself for a journey full of mischief, pleasure, and a little bit of chaos—you’ve been warned!
Suction toys and dildos aren’t the only way to reach orgasm. During our adventures online, we’ve discovered some amazing sexual toys that deserve love… and attention from you too!
Let’s talk about grinders—yes, the sexual toy, not the app, and definitely not the one you use to smoke your herbs.
How to Use a Grinder
This new world might seem intimidating, but it’s easier to master than you think. Remember when your pillow was your makeshift lover? Well, now your pillow can have an upgrade!
Some grinders can be used with one hand, some are hands-free, and others even come with straps to attach to your pillow. Give it a gentle swing, like you’re performing on a dance stage. Your pleasure will match the rhythm of your movements.
Ready to be the king of the floor (or your pillow)? Or would you rather be a knight riding your trusty steed?
What are they made of???
Silicone obviously is always the queen of materials, gracefully leading the pack with her flawless, smooth moves, leaving everyone in awe. Right behind her, in a powerful splash, comes Stainless Steel, ready for his swimming lessons, shining under the spotlight and showing off his weighty, precise performance. ABS Plastic keeps pace with a steady, reliable rhythm, while Borosilicate Glass glides elegantly, showing off a sleek, temperature‑play twist.
All this action unfolds at an event prepared exclusively for the most elegant classes—where only the finest materials show off their skills, and every move is a masterclass in pleasure and style.
Which style? The one, the beast, the unbeatable NON-POROUS style—pure rock ’n’ roll, ready to take your pleasure to the next level.
Recomendations
We recommend using water-based lubricant. You won’t need much—just a small amount will make everything smoother and far more comfortable. There’s no reason to battle friction when you can simply glide with ease.
We’re also big fans of DnD. They act like tiny portals, ready to whisk you away into imaginative worlds full of adventure and creativity.
And the best part? Some designs arrive with a little twist already built in—no add-ons needed, it’s all part of the model, creating unique combinations that feel like unlocking a whole new level of sensation—your express route to your own version of Valhalla.
