Greek mythology is a classic topic. We’re used to hearing about the evil Poseidon, the perverted Zeus, and the lonely Hades, or watching movies that completely ignore the real origins of Homer’s monsters.
Disclaimer: Sensavite is where sexuality collides with mythology, psychology, history, and whatever other rabbit hole my ADHD brain decides to wander into next.
I’m not a psychologist or a sexologist—I’m an engineering student who enjoys connecting ideas, reading way too much mythology, and occasionally overthinking everything. These articles are personal interpretations, not academic or clinical advice.
Let’s break down Odysseus’s monsters in canonical order, shall we?
Polyphemus: The Bad Airbnb Host
He was the smallest and dumbest of the cyclopes, a son of Poseidon, and a truly horrendous host. Long story short: Odysseus saw smoke on an island and stopped by, hoping for some basic hospitality and food. Well, the evil Polyphemus was tired of eating cheese and mutton, so he took advantage of this fresh human buffet.
Odysseus in Polyphemus’s Cave, Jacob Jordaens, first half of the 17th century.
After the cyclops snacked on some raw crew members with a side of sheep cheese, the tricky Odysseus offered him some wine. Ancient Greek wine was way sweeter and thicker than what we drink today, sitting at around 20%-30% ABV. Imagine a giant cyclops passing out dead drunk after chugging a barrel of heavy, syrupy liquor.
Then, Odysseus’s compassionate crew of «Nobody» helped the cyclops get a bug out of his eye with a giant, sharpened wooden stake. Just guys being dudes, helping each other out with a new toy.
Origins of the Cyclops
By the way, if you’ve got a screw loose and think you want to try out a cyclops, you should know the myth actually comes from ancient people finding mammoth skulls.
Polyphemus teaches us that sometimes the real monster isn’t strength—it’s believing the rules of hospitality don’t apply to you.
Circe: The Ultimate Domme
The absolute femme fatale. More than one sub would fall completely in love with her without her even needing to use magic. She is way more into treating you as her personal piggy and completely dominating you. A full Dom/Sub relationship.
Circe beasts
The nymph Circe used to keep men as prisoners, morphing them into pigs. But here is the twisted part: she didn’t eat them. She kept their human minds fully intact so they were completely aware of their humiliation while she treated them as livestock. Let’s just say that in Greek stories, a lot of men lost the battle simply because they were thinking with their dicks.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
But look, many monsters in mythology are just women trying to survive. If we look at how women suffered in Ancient Greece, they were treated as objects, enduring constant abuse and stalking. Take the nymphs—they were relentlessly hunted by satyrs. You know that funny goat-guy from Narnia? In actual Greek mythology, he’d be a sick, predatory son of a bitch.
The gray area with Circe is that, like many Greek gods, she was more human than you’d think. And by human, I mean selfish and evil as f***. But remember: it all depends on who is telling the story, and back then, the winners writing the myths were always men.
Sirens: The Emotional Predators
We always talk about how stunning the sirens were and how they tricked sailors to their deaths. But if you want to survive island-hopping in the ancient Mediterranean, you have to be smarter than your predators.
The Sirens understood exactly how emotionally vulnerable sailors were. They knew precisely what to promise to make someone abandon reason.
They didn’t sell sex; they sold the fantasy of ultimate knowledge and understanding.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/rochakshukla
Odysseus, following the advice of his Domme, Circe, bypassed these monsters by plugging his crew’s ears with beeswax. But Odysseus himself? He endured the psychological torture, demanding to be tied to the mast. He didn’t do it ‘just for fun’—it was extreme edge play.
Everyone likes to think they’d give the Sirens a chance. That’s easy to say when you’re sitting safely on the couch. It’s like saying you’d enjoy being spanked—until twelve strangers volunteer to do it for reasons you definitely didn’t consent to.
Scylla : The debt to pay
With Scylla, we can’t talk about mind games or seduction. Scylla is pure, unavoidable toxicity.
Before she was a monster, she was a beautiful nymph who got caught in a horrific love triangle. A sea god named Glaucus fell in love with her and went to our girl Circe for a love potion. But Circe was jealous, so instead of a love spell, she handed him a toxic brew and told him to pour it into the pond where Scylla used to bathe. Just like that, a beautiful nymph was mutated into a nightmare with 12 legs and 6 long necks, hiding in a dark cave.
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When Odysseus sailed past her, he couldn’t even see the monster in the dark. He couldn’t fight her, and he couldn’t outsmart her. He just had to pay the brutal toll: sacrificing six of his men just to survive the encounter and keep moving.
If we compare this toxic tale to real life, it hits incredibly close to home. A relationship is an investment. It costs you time, patience, and attention. But Scylla represents the darkest type of investment: paying someone else’s emotional debt.
Scylla is what happens when someone makes you pay for the pain that others caused them. She was ruined by Circe’s jealousy, but it was Odysseus’s crew who paid the price. How many times have we stayed in toxic relationships, losing our most valuable assets—our time, our energy, our hope—just because our partner is punishing us for the trauma their ex gave them?
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/wirestock
You can’t fight a Scylla. If you want to advance on your path in life, sometimes you just have to accept the losses, survive the dark cave, and get the hell out of there .
Charybdis : Queen of Tides
While Scylla was a poor girl harmed in an completely unjustified way—mutating her trauma into a sadistic defense mechanism—Charybdis is something else entirely. Charybdis represents the extreme high and low tides of your most unstable relationships. She is the absolute black hole of every emotional and physical concept.
Picture a monster with the mouth of a giant lamprey—an endless, terrifying void of teeth. Her only job is to swallow the ocean whole, dragging the tide down into the abyss, and then forcefully puke it all back up. She is the ultimate, violent roller coaster for sailors. But don’t forget the golden rule of the Odyssey: no one survives a direct hit from Charybdis.
She is gluttony made flesh. Born as the daughter of Poseidon and the earth titan Gaia, she had a bottomless appetite. After she greedily devoured the sacred cattle of Heracles, Zeus punished her by blasting her with a thunderbolt and cursing her to live underwater as an endless, starving vortex.
If you translate this to real life, Charybdis is the partner who completely consumes you. It’s the relationship with extreme, exhausting tides. One moment you are riding the high, and the next, you are being sucked into a void of their insecurities and demands.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/kues1
She is the emotional vacuum—the person who needs all your time, all your energy, and all your soul to fill their own emptiness. And just like the monster, no matter how much you pour into them, they will just spit you out in pieces when they are done.
The Gluttony isn’t just about food; it’s the toxic dissatisfaction of having everything.
Some people don’t hurt you because they’re evil. They hurt you because no amount of love is ever enough to fill a bottomless hole.
Calypso : Lack of self-love
Loneliness is incredibly confusing, and it can make you do deeply toxic things. Let’s get some context: after the Titanomachy (the great war of the gods), Zeus exiled the nymph Calypso to a hidden, remote island. But he didn’t just lock her away; he cursed her to fall desperately in love with the mortal guests who washed ashore on her beach.
Despite keeping Odysseus as a hostage, Calypso wasn’t a «bad person» by definition. In fact, her trauma and her desperate need for connection made her more human than most of the mortal heroes in the myth.
She wanted to give Odysseus absolutely everything she had. The goddess offered him a literal paradise with zero inconveniences, amazing food, and even the ultimate gift: immortality. She supplied him with every single basic need that humans had back then (and still crave today).
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/tawatchai07
Built the perfect golden cage. But a cage is still a cage. Odysseus was trapped there for seven long years. He spent his days crying on the beach, looking out at the sea, enduring a total of 20 years without hearing his wife’s voice or knowing anything about his family, all because a desperately lonely goddess couldn’t bear the thought of being by herself again.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
Calypso is perhaps the most difficult character to understand because the torture she suffered wasn’t physical. Zeus cursed her to inevitably fall in love with someone who could never truly love her back.
She couldn’t do anything to change that situation, and accepting that unrequited reality was simply too painful. You can blame her for keeping a hostage, sure, but the true villain here is the nature of her punishment. Jailing an immortal entity on a secret island and condemning her to absolute loneliness is pure evil.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
The worst part isn’t just the isolation; it’s that without human connection, she cannot grow as a person. She can’t heal, she can’t do better, and she doesn’t have the support system she desperately needs. She is not dumb, and she isn’t naturally cruel. But when you finally realize that the Greek gods are just human extremes—our absolute worst flaws, traumas, and cruelties given infinite power—the whole myth becomes genuinely horrifying.
Pretenders: The Ultimate Parasites and Boundary Violators
But out of all the monsters in the Odyssey, these are, without a doubt, the absolute worst. And they don’t have six heads or magical powers—they’re just entitled men.
Imagine being Telemachus, Odysseus’s son. Your dad literally «went out for cigarettes» (well, to fight a war) and never came back after twenty years. You’re too young to rule Ithaca, and according to the twisted laws of the time, your mother is expected to marry whoever becomes the next king.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ítaca
Enter the Pretenders (the Suitors). They are the real villains of this story—the true monsters. They don’t breathe fire or hide in dark caves. Instead, they invade your safe space. They move into your home uninvited, eat your food, drink your wine, and slowly destroy your life from the inside out.
They relentlessly harass Penelope, who is simply trying to survive, while abusing the servants and slaves. And being a slave in Ancient Greece was already miserable enough—imagine getting beaten by a bunch of entitled freeloaders living in your own house. As if that wasn’t enough, they even plot to murder both Telemachus and Odysseus just to seize the throne.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/kjpargeter
Unlike Scylla or Charybdis, the Pretenders aren’t monsters because of magic. They’re monsters because they believe everything belongs to them: your home, your time, your food, your family, and eventually, your life.
The real-life translation is surprisingly simple. The Pretenders are every person who mistakes access for entitlement. They’re the toxic orbiter who thinks your attention is a reward they deserve. Real parasites.
A «nice guy» who believes kindness should guarantee affec
The coworker who ignores your boundaries because they’re «just being friendly.»
The guest who overstays their welcome until your home no longer feels like yours.
But above all, the Pretenders teach us the oldest rule for spotting a monster: don’t look at how someone treats people they need—look at how they treat people who can’t fight back.
The Suitors didn’t reveal themselves by challenging heroes. They revealed themselves by bullying servants, threatening a young man, and cornering a woman who had nowhere to go.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/rawpixel-com
Sometimes the worst monsters aren’t hiding in caves or waiting beneath the sea. Sometimes they’re already sitting in your living room, drinking your wine, eating your food, and acting as if your kindness was an invitation.
The End …
After this long tale, this might be our least explicit post. However, you don’t have to be a quick thinker to notice that many of the atrocities Homer described are still painfully familiar today. Sexuality and psychology have always been close cousins, separated only by the labels we invent to make them easier to discuss.
When I first started writing this, I thought it would be just another post about Greek monsters. I didn’t expect to end up exploring the psychological patterns hidden beneath them. Strip away the gods, the magic, and the sea monsters, and what remains is surprisingly human: power, desire, trauma, manipulation, loneliness, and the endless struggle over boundaries and consent.
It is unsettling to realize that, nearly three thousand years later, we are still stumbling over the very same stones. Maybe that’s why these myths survived for so long. The monsters were never just creatures lurking beyond the horizon—they were reflections of the people telling the stories, and of the people still reading them today.
Hello everyone, we are back with a late review of our friends from Mythtoys.
This opportunity was completely different for me. As you know, I’m quite a protester when it comes to riding challenges; however, this is my first time testing a edgy toy or was it edging … . Whatever a male mastur**** .
If you’re a regular reader of this website, you probably know what type of toy I’m talking about.
I must say that I’ve discovered some ancient techniques for using this toy.
First Glance
Let’s talk about this non-delphinidae(non dolphin) member of this family shows us.
It’s smaller than I expected at first. When I saw the photos, I thought it would be as big as a small bottle. Well, the actual size is about as big as your hand, which isn’t bad at all.
My first impression was that my expectations were higher than reality. Despite this, our first meeting, on a very romantic night under the full moon, was as confusing as finding a member of your family on a dating app.
Let’s not even talk about finding your cousin on a gay dating app without having any previous knowledge of their sexuality or preferences.
Exotic dancer icon set with girl dance striptease she are a stripper vector illustration
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/macrovector
I tried different positions until I discovered the perfect ancient technique that I will explain later.
My First Love
My first time hanging out with this lovely partner was better than expected.
This is because I completely underestimated the pleasure of being patient. At first, it felt like complete bullshit, but after two minutes of learning how to use it, I found out that the vibration of the toy was actually great.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/kjpargeter
It isn’t a one-man worker; you can help it with your hand, and adding some lube upgrades the experience considerably.
With more than eight vibration modes, it’s awesome.
Most importantly, it’s really easy to clean. I simply used hand soap and tap water. I didn’t have to deal with any bad smells or sticky textures.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
It’s a bit like watching The Godfather. The first experience can feel long and boring, but if you stick with it, you’ll eventually find the gold.
I’ve never used male masturbators before, and this one was a perfect introduction.
Secret Technique
Because of my ignorance, I initially tried using the toy as a chastity vibrator.
This meant using the opening of the toy as my personal eggcup, adding some extra spice by treating it like an egg ring.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/prostooleh
The way the vibrations travel between the lower and upper parts of the toy is genuinely surprising.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/atlascompany
The toy also gave me the impression that it might have poor grip, but after testing it as a professional risk tester and attempting the elephant challenge, I found out that it doesn’t fall off easily.
Even so, I still prefer my secret technique.
Orca Skills
Just like in D&D, even whales can have points in Stealth.
The shape of the Orca is surprisingly discreet. It’s small enough to hide easily and doesn’t immediately look like an extremely naughty toy. Mythtoys are into being sneaky.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
Despite its unusual shape, it isn’t as quiet as some other stealthy toys. If you live with your parents and don’t want to get caught, I wouldn’t recommend using it in the middle of the night.
That could save you from some awkward moments if your mother happens to find it.
In addition, I must say that magnetic charging is practically the industry standard nowadays. However, what really matters is that the charging port doesn’t compromise the waterproof design.
The silicone of this toy made me rethink some of my previous complaints about vibrating toys. Let’s just say it doesn’t suffer from that annoying air gap between the internal components and the silicone surface.
Final Thoughts
Overall, the Orca surprised me. My expectations were not particularly high at first, but after spending some time with it and discovering my own «ancient techniques,» I found it to be a fun, versatile, and beginner-friendly experience.
Let’s settle a few concepts: you won’t get a perfect toy for $60. Would I call it a masterpiece? No. Would I call it a bad toy? Not even close. It does what it promises and feels surprisingly well-built for its price range.
The excellent bonding between the silicone and the casing means you can use and clean it without worrying about the adhesive failing over time. Add in the discreet shape and the variety of vibration modes, and you end up with a product that offers solid edging potential.
For me, it’s a solid 7/10. A great product for newcomers to strokers.
Now, let’s talk about the grey area: the price. To be completely honest, I wouldn’t pay the full $59.99 for this toy. But at around $50, it becomes a much more attractive option. If you really want to try it, use my discount code to knock that 15% off (SENSA15) and bring it down to a reasonable tier.
Ultimately, it’s not a revolutionary toy, but it’s a safe, reliable purchase with enough strengths to earn its place in your collection. Have a taste of this product –> CLICK HEREI SWEAR IT ISN’T A RICK ASTLEY EDIT
Hello everyone, we are back after a brutal week full of exams! Today, we are showcasing a new piece of «hardware» that Funzze has entrusted us to review. Looking at it, it feels less like a standard toy and more like a legendary item drop from an RPG or a sleek cyberpunk implant.
As the pro tester that I am (just kidding), I’m here to share the things I absolutely love about this item, along with my darkest fears and a slightly traumatic experience.
First Print
The moment I got the package in my hands, I noticed it was incredibly heavy. This isn’t a bad thing—I’m very strong. Stronger than a gorilla, actually.
This rare specimen is forged from solid stainless steel, giving it a premium, almost indestructible feel. The length is quite substantial, making it great for depth training, but wielding it comes with a few requirements.
Since metal is highly temperature-responsive, you can easily play with thermal sensations.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time warming it up; just running it under warm water in the sink for about a minute does the trick. Once inside, it adapts to your body heat almost instantly, so you completely avoid that shocking, annoying cold feeling.
Optimized shapes
When testing, I usually switch between different toys, but I really love the dual-wielding nature of this one. Because of its ergonomic C-shape design with two differently sized balls at the ends, you can effortlessly switch between the smaller and the bigger sphere depending on your level.
Playing with it requires very little effort. The C-shape acts as a perfect lever—while one end hits your joy spot internally with the exact right pressure, the external sphere acts as a heavy counterweight.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/brgfx
«Waterproof» is practically written in its name. Because it’s 100% non-porous stainless steel, the shower can absolutely be part of the fun. And here is the best part: unlike regular toys, stainless steel is immune to material degradation. You can use any lube you want, despite how excited you are. Grab a thick Silicone-Based lube without fear; this toy is fully silicone-proof, incredibly easy to clean, and perfect for a hot bath.
The Drama and The Fear (A Warning)⚠️
But as I always say: you have to be careful. Using a heavy metal toy without a traditional flared base could send you straight to the doctor’s office (and not just to get a note to skip classes).
My personal «traumatic» experience came from not keeping a close enough eye on «the friend I had inside of me.»
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/jannoon028
Because solid steel gets incredibly slippery when covered in lube, gravity did its job. It surpassed the sigmoid barrier. At first, it seemed like a great discovery, but quickly, the lack of a flat base turned the situation into an emergency. I was one step away from yelling, «Stepbro, I’m stuck!».
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/stefamerpik
Thankfully, with a lot of patience and some strategic pushing of my inner organs, I managed to guide this heavy boy back out and save myself from disaster.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/pvproductions
After that terrifying moment, I considered giving this toy a little more use. Honestly, if the spherical head had an oval shape instead, both insertion and removal would be much smoother. That simple design change would definitely give some peace of mind to anyone who is scared of making a ‘one-way trip’ after hearing about my episode.
Final Conclusion
My overall experience with this toy was incredibly good, even after surviving that scary episode. The texture of the steel is flawlessly smooth, the heavy weight makes it feel like a premium item, and the awesome storage bag it came with is a fantastic touch.
It is really a great piece of gear, but those safety issues could send more than expected to the hospital.
British ambulance parked in a parking lot
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/rawpixel-com
Also, huge bonus points for the «stealth mode» delivery. The shipping is not only 100% «sneaky» you don’t have to worry about curious neighbourghs or paying the delivery because it is free.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
This is a massive win, because a lot of seemingly «cheaper» toys hit you with surprise shipping fees at checkout that end up ruining your budget .
Final Score: 7.9 / 10 ⭐
Furthermore, it would be a massive improvement if the toy featured a textured grip and a proper safety support. When you combine heavy steel with silicone lube, it becomes incredibly slippery, so having a secure way to hold it would definitely prevent any unwanted ‘critical failures’ during sessions. It’s a great concept, but those two design flaws prevent it from being a perfect 10/10 item.
As always thanks to Funzze for this giant chance of testing such products , thank you for reading . I hope we can continue bringing fresh content for everyone . Love you all!!!!! .
If you thought that training for width was going to help you take something longer… I hope you can forgive me for bursting your bubble.
I learned the hard way, but after wrestling with beasts like the Seahorse and Beowulf twice a week, I am officially qualified to guide you through this naughty endeavor.
Love and meet your body
We’ve all heard those cliché quotes: «Love your body,» «It’s perfect the way it is.» Sorry to break it to the people who think that applies universally, but you actually have to get to know your body. Take it out for a coffee, go on a date, listen to it, and learn exactly how it works.
close up view of dark fresh roasted coffee beans on coffee beans background
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/stockking
We all know the basic anatomy of the backdoor. But if you want to play in the big leagues, you need to understand that your inner Anubis can’t handle all that power alone.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
Let’s do some basic math. You want to take, say, 30 cm of length, but you only have about 20 cm of space available between the rectum and the planet Uranus (don’t kill me for the pun). As you can see, the math ain’t mathing.
Blackboard inscribed with scientific formulas and calculations in physics, mathematics and electrical circuits. Science and education background.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/jcomp
You don’t have enough runway for those sizes. You are going to need help from your new best friend: the «sigma male» of your anatomy (Thomas shelby), the sigmoid colon. And as many of you know, this guy wasn’t exactly designed for these kinds of activities
Sigmoideus
This name might remind some of us of a supervillain name. Well, this buddy is in charge of closing the gates of the feces. He isn’t made for taking a U.L.O. (Unidentified Large Object), so you have to treat him as the queen he really is, with touch and being very careful.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
You can have some personal harm that might accompany you all your life, so don’t push yourself. Try easy, starting with easy tasks and adding some difficulty to him (Bloodbath Extreme Demon).
Pro-tip, this is a pro-tip I hope you never have to do: if you achieved enough length and width you could push with your fingers this tube, a move you are lucky enough to apply before going to emergencies.
Well, if the toy with a mushroom head got inside and doesn’t want to come out, you have to be prepared for two concepts: if you rush you are dead ‘cause of the pain, and the idea of this movement is pushing the sigmoid walls enough with your fingers for letting the stuck object go out.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/drazenzigic
If you can’t do it, pls go to emergencies. They won’t leave you with that inside you.
Training this little buddy needs thin toys, not bigger. Remember this is part of your intestines, so if you dig in the mine you will get dirty even if you clean it .
The Final Lap
If you really want to improve, don’t search the sigmoid, really don’t do it, just flow with it. Trying to train length without the proper skills will send you to the hospital. An apple a day won’t keep your doctor away! .
As always, clean your hands before touching it, don’t try to scratch it or push more. It’s better quitting too early than having an injury that won’t let you do this trick again.
Don’t clean the sigmoid with water unless you want to be a brown fountain all day. Despite all of this, don’t put all the weight of your body over a toy that you can’t take; this will lead you into a perforated bowel.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/katemangostar
This is very dangerous, even extreme, if you don’t do it with proper material, skills, and precautions. I’m tired of saying the same things, but with great powers comes great responsibility, and using a 1 kg stick is a lot of power.
Conclusion
This isn’t a joke activity, nevertheless it isn’t an easy task, only the best soldiers will survive this. We are talking specifically about the Spartans, who, for those who don’t know, liked a bit too much the mechanic of fighting with swords as «good friends».
I know this is roman because of the gladius.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/fxquadro
Many doctors will say don’t do it, and they are completely right. It is a creepy way of destroying your body; it would be a 4!/10 on the cigarette scale, so very radical shit you know , Jack butt 2 and those creepy series. .
If you are really reading this you are very weird, not like me, because I’m not the type of person that creates a web talking about those gay things you know. Weirdos! I hope you loved all this speech, I love you, your families, your parents, your pets, your booty. See you soon, don’t forget to share if you love this content 🙂
We previously covered this in a 2-in-1 review, but after spending more time and working properly with it, my perspective has completely changed for the better. Here is why.
The Experience: From Training to Pleasure
I can honestly say this toy is like a good wine—an acquired taste that gets better over time. In the beginning, it was a struggle; it felt more like a hardcore training session than an actually pleasant experience.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/wirestock
Now, my experience is entirely different. I no longer need an intense, «hardcore» warm-up. My body has adjusted to its circumference, leaving me with that nice, exhausting feeling of a good stretch. You can really feel the progress, even with casual training over the last 6 months (using it maybe four times one month, zero the next, etc.).
I also have to mention that switching to X-Lube was a massive game-changer—it helped way more than any previous lubes I’ve tried.
The Double-Edged Sword: Flexibility
I wouldn’t call these «red flags,» but the exact feature that makes me love this toy is the same one that drains my patience during failed attempts.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/jemastock
The flexibility of the Seahorse is completely necessary when training for width—without it, the tension would be unbearable (it’s not exactly painful, just a serious stretching of your limits).
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/freepik
However, because of this flexibility, it lacks natural stability. You have to hit a very specific angle to make it work. The same bending that saves you from a perforation is what you end up fighting against to keep it straight. Because of this, I’m seriously considering buying the Hankey’s suction cup or their riding saddle just to keep it grounded.
General Thoughts & Maintenance
As I mentioned in older posts about the Seahorse, its ridges are great to help you measure your progress. It might get exasperating at times, but you must remember you are using a plus-size toy compared to normal silicone toys; it requires patience.
On the maintenance side, it’s flawless. It cleans incredibly easily, there are absolutely no weird odors, the material is extremely durable (no fear of breaking the toy), and I’ve had zero safety or injury concerns. Even after six months of use, the silicone hasn’t degraded at all—the toy feels just like the day I received it. I know some users like to throw their silicone toys in the dishwasher, but honestly, washing it by hand with some good hand soap is more than enough to keep it pristine and completely get rid of any odors.
8.5/10 Good product but not perfect
If I had rated this toy on day one, the score would have been much lower out of pure frustration. But at the 6-month mark, the Hankey’s Seahorse gets a solid 8.5/10.
Who is it for? Intermediate to advanced size trainers. If you are an absolute beginner, you can use it, but you will need a massive amount of patience (and premium lube like X-Lube) to get past the «hardcore training» phase.
The Bottom Line: It’s a high-quality, incredibly safe piece of silicone that does exactly what it promises for size progression. The only reason it doesn’t score higher is the lack of base stability—you’ll likely find yourself needing to buy a suction cup or saddle just to keep it from bending during the initial push. But once you master the angle, it’s a fantastic ride.
As I always say, we really hope you liked this post, but it’s even more important to us that you found it useful. Also, a big thanks to Hankey’s Toys for giving us a true sample of what «plus-size» really means. I just wanted to make a proper, objective review this time around—the last one was good, but it was much more about storytelling than technical feedback.
A couple of weeks ago, we received a «surprise» package from an emergent brand, Mythtoys. However, before starting this review, let’s settle a few things. They sent us the product for free. Does this mean this is a biased, sponsored review? Absolutely not. In fact, we are never going to recommend something we think is trash.
https://www.freepik.com/author/originalmockup
After that short disclaimer, I’m going to share some of the thoughts I had while enjoying this experience with my partner.
Unboxing
It was weird, but not in a bad way. Feeling like you were getting VIP treatment, like you were on a luxury cruise opening a $50k lobster. It had that typical mystique of presenting a gourmet dish in the movies.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
Inside the box, you get a magnetic charger (I’m an official collector of these cables at this point, I have like four of them) and a cloth mini-bag.
I remember saying, «The bag is an awesome detail.» Because it’s made of cloth instead of cheap plastic, it actually felt premium.
Arc Experiences
This toy gave me a bit of a love-hate feeling. It’s a very simple, mainstream toy, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad product. It was fully charged when we received the package (+1 for Gryffindor!). These little details are lovely; we talked a couple of reviews ago about Funzze doing the exact same thing. They just know how excited someone can be after adopting one of these new partners (+1).
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
My partner didn’t talk too much during our «review session,» so I’d say that’s a great sign. He did mention that sometimes the suction was stronger than he’d like, but that’s not really something to complain about. You have 10 modes, so just go down a level. He was on level 3 or 4, dropped down to the previous mode, and had zero complaints after that.
In addition the curvy shape is a really good idea. On their shop, they claim it’s designed to improve hand grip, but we ALL know that having a curvy, long handle isn’t just for that. You could totally use it as an insertable object for the V. It isn’t huge, so if you can handle any of the other toys we’ve talked about on this site, you could definitely devour this one.
https://www.freepik.com/author/macrovector
We are going to have a detective moment, okay? The f***, I’m talking to myself. Well, let’s investigate the clues we have: Magnetic charger… +1 for Gryffindor… interesting… ummmm… magnetic charger… I don’t get why I’m doing this whole investigation bit instead of just saying it’s waterproof but not submarine-proof (Don’t fully submerge pending long periods). Did you get it? It was a good pun. Like the anime, One PUN Man. I’m the master of jokes. I’m the Joker.
https://www.freepik.com/author/catalyststuff
Okay, I apologize for the part of my brain that just went on vacation. Let’s continue without puns or jokes. As I said, it is waterproof. You can use it in the shower, which is a great option for having a better time alone.
https://www.freepik.com/author/user18526052
This isn’t a sneaky toy , my partner suggested that if the toy was less noisy would be better .
Final Conclusion
It’s a very good product overall, but maybe I’m a bit of a picky eater with these things. I absolutely hate what I call «floating silicone.» You know what I mean? When the silicone isn’t a solid, compact block wrapping the inner mechanism, but just a loose sleeve with an air gap underneath. I don’t like pressing somewhere on the toy and feeling my finger sink into a hollow, deep hole. I need these toys to feel as protected, compact, and solid as a block of ice.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
On top of that, there is something else regarding the waterproof claim. It felt awesome for my partner, but I’m not entirely sure the metal and non-metal parts will stay glued together over time. The silicone is very high quality, and I want to believe the metal is too, but that joint makes me a bit skeptical.
If we had to give it a rating, it would be an 8 / 10 (with 1 being absolute trash and 10 being the ideal, perfect toy). From my point of view, it should definitely be cheaper if they want to compete with other brands. We loved the product, but honestly, I highly recommend grabbing it only when it goes on sale. At the end of the day, balancing accessibility, price, and quality is key. This brand offers really good quality, but they still have some room for improvement.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
In addition huge thanks to Mythtoys for sending this product over. You asked me to be completely honest, and here is my honest take: it is a good product despite of the bad things but they need to think outside the box a little bit more.
They have some really cool designs (like the AirPods one!), but if you don’t reinvent the wheel, you’ll just blend in with all the other brands out there. That’s my review and my two cents.
We love making this post and review , also they treated us like absolut kings we can’t say anything more that we didn’t say before on this review .
Also, a quick note: while I was writing this post, the brand reached out to let me know that the specific unit they sent me was actually a bit more powerful than intended. I have to say, that shows they really care about their clients and listen to feedback.
Listen here, future non-hunters. I don’t think the Hunter’s Guild will approve this post, and neither do I. I don’t think anyone has ever played this game and said, «Damn, that Brachydios is flirting with me,» or «Pls Bulldrome, make me yours»… butttttt….. I can’t defend this point of view anymore, srry.
Anyways, a couple of days ago I asked the Bad Dragon community why there aren’t toys from this saga. I’ve seen references to Jurassic Park, Alien, Star Wars, and we even did a Resident Evil list. I’ve seen a lot of fantasy ideas, but Monster Hunter? No one. Well, some Reddit user commented to tell me that a maker called XenoCat actually made a color pattern for each mob (Monster) –> Monster Inbound .
However , let’s show our contestants…!!! (Cue «Proof of a Hero») We will need backups, there is more than 1 Elder Dragon here. Be ready, eat at the canteen, and let’s forge some boots.
Despite this monster isn’t the favorite of many people, but being the premium cousin of Radobaan is always a good point. However, this is not a hard choice: look at Radobaan’s house and then look at that shiny armor. Jhora the World Eater was the winner for the auditions
Our shiny knight
Green Flags: this «little guy» is perfect for making toys out of. First, he can make you sleepy, which is a very good point (sleeping after climax gets a solid 10/10 on HunterAdvisor). And second, due to the heat inside of him, he can warm up your…. well, you know, this isn’t a lore wiki.
We can think of lore ideas where these toys are made from the spikes on his back, or maybe you are just a little pervert who wants to make out with a giant fantasy animal that is highly likely to end up killing you. But that won’t scare you at all. A gold dildo is like the premium of premiums, just think twice.
Imagine fusing a skinless werewolf with an eel. Well, we have the ADHD monster that is an Odogaron. Lethal and fast as an eel, you choose which one you are going to fight: the dragon element (Ebony) or the normal type.
This is just a psycho with a massive bloodthirst doing acrobatics that might impress you on your first date. But after the hemorrhage… I actually think some of you would still love to have another date with him.
https://monsterhunternow.com/es/monsters/odogaron
Look at those claws and that mouth; for sure he is going to bite with true passion. Maybe you lose your shoulder… I’m not going to compare having a ravishing passion to losing a shoulder. I love my shoulders.
Oh, look at that… maybe losing a shoulder wouldn’t be that bad, right??? I mean, he isn’t so big… Maybe if I give him some raw meat he would change his mind??? I dunno.
The ego of an emperor and the cruelty of the Queen of Hearts comes Kulve Taroth, fully dressed in the purest gold. A total Diva. Those horns never came with innocent intentions. With her dark skin and the impossibility of killing such a Queen, we can only toe the line with the leftovers of her clothes: that Aureus cloak.
The other day we saw some of the power of the dragon. At least it was a shiny replica (Wandering Bard Toy)—I can’t even make out what it would be like having one of the real ones in my hands. As you can see, this is just a replica of the power of a dragon; we definitely couldn’t handle the real size.
Known as the ghost of the taiga, this creature is the ultimate hybrid between an avian and an exotic feline. Does the silhouette sound familiar? Imagine a massive, exotic feline sporting an avian beak and razor-sharp tail feathers.
If we can find human twins born in completely different parts of the world, why can’t we connect creatures with identical ways of hunting? The Alabaster is exactly that: a multiversal twin, a hybrid born from different realities but sharing the same lethal, beautiful nature.
They told us it was a monster. They lied. Our giant kitty cat is innocent and pure, it only wants to give hugs and kisses! 🥺 It was completely demonized by the Hunters, brainwashing us with lies about its ‘ferocity’. I am completely against this anti-wyvern propaganda. Justice for the taiga ghost!
Even his D is a biological marvel, beautiful like a peacock with those feathers! 🦚 He only wants to be pet… and so do you, you f..ing creeps. Dirty minds! You think this was about f..ing monsters?! THIS IS PURE BIOLOGICAL RESEARCH. 🧬
The single idea that I would smash such a beautiful creature is insane… though I wouldn’t mind doing it or letting you do it. They are my precious babies! Maybe we can share before we get executed by the Hunter’s Guild… 🐉💀
Thanks to
Before I get carted, huge thanks to the r/BadDragon community for giving me the research material and showing me the brands making these must-see MH toys. Massive thanks to XenoCat for giving me the green light to expose their beautiful specimens here, and an honorable mention to Wandering Bard Toys—their post on X about the Dragon’s Tail was the catalyst for this whole crazy idea.
I really hope you enjoyed this post! It’s pure chaos, but what is science without a little madness and readers willing to view it? If you enjoyed this biological research, feel free to check out my other posts. To support the cause, drop an upvote or share this with your fellow hunters. If you want to fund my research, you can donate in Educoffee. This content is totally free and ad-free for your reading pleasure. See you at the canteen! 🍖🍻
Yes, I have ADHD and my new hyperfixation is Resident Evil. I’ve played several of their games this month, and I’m quite sure that some of their mutated creatures might not seem like the best option for conventionally attractive toys. But what if that is exactly the point? We have to remember that the most unique Resident Evil fantasy toys are chosen primarily for their incredible, monstrous designs.
If you’ve played Resident Evil 0, you definitely remember the Leech Zombie. A relentless, slimy nightmare made entirely of… well, you know. They were an absolute headache of an enemy. There is something uniquely terrifying about a slippery opponent that just absorbs your bullets, leaving you feeling completely helpless
Enter The Ovistem by Xenocat Artifacts. It was love at first sight. I was actively searching for a product that captured the eerie vibe of those bio-organic enemies, and this toy is simply unforgettable. (I’ll drop an image of the RE0 Leech Zombie below for those who luckily blocked that trauma from their memory).
Let’s be honest: glowing in the dark and laying eggs inside people might not be the traditional way to make friends, but in the realm of monster fantasy… it’s a masterpiece.»
Yeah, we know the name is a cheeky wink to a certain black-suited, tongue-wielding antihero—whose cinematic universe has seen quite the decline lately thanks to some ‘unexpected’ box office choices… But let’s focus on the real survival horror.
In the Resident Evil universe, these mutant creatures were human once upon a time, now reduced to the gruesome result of a second metamorphosis caused by the T-Virus. We’ve always been terrified of how menacing those razor-sharp tongues look in the games, but what if we switched places? Oh wait, I didn’t say anything…
Have you ever wondered what a ‘butt kiss’ from a Licker feels like? Well, now you can find out. Just make sure you take the necessary precautions to survive the encounter.
your next partner
And remember the golden rule of surviving the Raccoon City Police Department: Don’t be too loud. We don’t want to attract more than one… though I’m not here to judge if you think you can take four of them at the same time.
Disclaimer: The Resident Evil world is pretty fucked up, but getting intimate with a Licker is basically the new B.O.W. Tinder.
If you have a good memory for traumatic events, you definitely haven’t forgotten the sheer panic of being incubated by a mutant insect (drain demoss)—or whatever the hell that gross shit was from resident Evil 3. Think you could handle more than that? Are you sure? Because you never really know what’s waiting in the dark.
What could possibly be worse, you ask? Well, imagine exploring a dark cave and suddenly realizing you are entirely surrounded by a single massive centipede… and it wants to get very, very intimate with your mouth.
Still think it couldn’t get worse? Allow me to introduce you to Imago. Imago isn’t just a big bug. Imago is a massive, T-Veronica style centipede-dragon that lives in volcanic exhaust tunnels and is completely resistant to fire . Great now the cockroaches tanks fire . Imago 1 , Helldivers 0 . «Quien tenga miedo a morir que no nazca » .
If there’s one thing Resident Evil taught us, it’s that gardening in a secret laboratory is a terrible, terrible idea. We’ve all been there: running through the hallways of the Spencer Mansion (the grenade launche was my best friend , I didn’t discovered there was another way) or the NEST labs, praying that the giant, mutated vines hanging from the ceiling wouldn’t turn our heads into a salad. Whether it was the Plant 42 or those acid-spitting Ivy freaks, we learned the hard way that ‘organic’ usually means ‘it wants to eat you.’
But what if you could take a piece of that botanical nightmare home? Without the whole ‘dissolving your skin with enzymes’ part?
This isn’t your grandma’s tulip. Looking at it, you can almost hear the wet, squelching sound of a T-Virus mutation in full bloom. It has that eerie, organic shape—half-alien seed, half-mutated organ—that looks like it was plucked straight from the humid corridors of a contaminated greenhouse.
As Ian Malcolm famously said in Jurassic Park: ‘Life finds a way.’ And if you don’t believe me, give this plant a try. Just remember: unlike the green herbs in the game, this bulb won’t heal your wounds… but it will certainly make you forget them. Are you ready to let it take root?
Let’s be honest: we all know that ‘Las Plagas’ from Resident Evil 4 couldn’t possibly be from this planet. The idea of ancient, fossilized parasites that take absolute control and form a perfect symbiosis with their hosts screams extraterrestrial origin. It’s entirely plausible that the Plaga originally arrived on Earth via a meteorite, evolving in the dark over millennia.
But what if we finally found the source? The original cosmic strain?
Phobos is a fallen star seed that crashed into a remote swampland, taking root and infesting the entire crash site. Unlike the parasites we dealt with in rural Spain, this mutated specimen is completely blind. Its ‘toy’ form is based entirely on its tendrils—each appendage is packed with sensitive nodes that act as its eyes and taste buds, exploring every inch of you.
But here is where the true symbiosis begins: its central body emits a potent hallucinogenic substance designed to relax your muscles and pull you into a distorted, euphoric state for up to two hours. Its only goal is to bond with new species, share experiences through a deep mind-link, and ensure its uniquely beautiful survival.
Are you ready to make first contact and let the parasite take control?
Well, there you have it. If you love Resident Evil as much as I do, you’ll understand why this recent hyperfixation of mine completely took over. I’ve always loved rating the sheer creativity behind the designs of these toys.
Thanks to:
A massive shoutout to Xenocatfor helping us make this post happen—they craft absolute monstrosities (in the best way possible).
Also, a quick reminder: this content is completely free and ad-free. I’d much rather give you a clean, immersive experience than ruin the vibe just to earn a few pennies. If you’d like to help me pay for the website’s hosting, there’s a donation button around here somewhere. But honestly? I value interaction way more. I’d rather connect and talk with fellow freaks like me.
Leave a comment, share your favorite B.O.W., and let’s freak out. See you soon!
We know you love bringing dirty toys to the airports so we discussed and investigated looking up for keeping up your dignity and pleasure . It also works with parents but don’t tell them .
We know many of you still living with your parents and even with roommates , well this wouldn’t be something to worry after you read this top discretion agent 07 .
You read that correctly. We know many of you lose your minds dealing with the daily commute on the bus or just trying to survive the stress of being at home. Well, MythToys took advantage of this, completely solving a problem you didn’t even know you had.
Say hello to ‘The Pod’. This smart sonic sucker is the perfect option for those who want something ultra-portable that blends seamlessly into your purse, backpack, or nightstand. It’s the ultimate sneaky toy, making sure your favorite stress-relief device is available whenever you need to «tune out the world» for a few minutes.
Just a quick warning: no matter how much it looks like next-generation high-end tech… please don’t try to connect it to Spotify, and definitely don’t stick it in your ear. It goes somewhere else.
(And hey, if you want to upgrade your daily commute, you can grab this tech marvel at MythToys. Use the code SENSA10 for a 10% discount. Cheaper than actual AirPods, and way more fun).
We are about to save your anniversary. Stop panicking and think about it for five seconds: is there anything more deeply romantic than literally giving your partner your heart?
Enter another genius portable toy from our friends and blog collaborators at Funzze. They have already surprised us with some of their previous products, but they did it again. They’ve created a tiny, pocket-sized heart that looks so innocent, even the most standard cis guy wouldn’t mind carrying it on his keychain.
But for those who haven’t caught on yet: this is a clitoral suction toy. It’s designed to suck your blood—sorry, I mean, suck the soul right out of your body in the best way possible.
This is your true pumping moment. We are 100% sure that after using this, your partner will be hitting those high notes from the OG song: What is loooveee… baby don’t hurt me… ***
Hailing from the desolate depths of the ancient Crystal Peak mines—where a tiny, silent Knight once fought against crushing loneliness and the radiant orange infection of his society—comes this mesmerizing artifact.
Just like the shimmering, hypnotic veins that lined those infected mines, this shard reacts intensely to UV light. Bathe it in blacklight, and it pulses with a captivating, radioactive glow, as if infused with the very soul of the crystals. No super-dash required to harness this power; just get ready for a radiant experience that will light up your own dark corners. Conquering your loneliness has never looked so brilliant.
Now, here is the golden rule if you ever show this glowing masterpiece to anyone. If they are fans of the Hollow Knight saga and they ask you about it, give them a knowing nod and confirm it’s a direct tribute to the game.
But for those who don’t know anything about the game? Look them dead in the eye and tell them it’s a highly volatile, unrefined gem sourced straight from a classified African mine. Disclaimer : We do not support imperialism .
Picture this: It’s the peak of New Year’s Eve, the fireworks are going off, and you’ve just won the Formula 1 World Championship. Congratulations, champion. As a reward for your glorious victory, you are gifted an exclusive, mysterious bottle of vintage called Du Champagne Sur Les Fesses.
Being the rich, sophisticated, and incredibly wise person you are, you don’t just pop it right away. You hide this masterpiece in the darkest, most secure corner of your closet, reserving it for a truly monumental occasion.
Fast forward to your wedding night. The ultimate special occasion. But as you grab the bottle and try to open it, reality hits you. You try to pop the cork, only to realize there is no cork. Just a surprisingly wide, suction-cup base.
You look at the bottle. Then you look at the label ‘Sur Les Fesses’ (literally: On the Ass). Then you look at your partner, who is smiling wickedly. Suddenly, you understand why they kept it hidden in the dark all this time… and you realize exactly how you two are going to celebrate tonight. And spoiler alert: it doesn’t involve drinking glasses.
THE END
I’m incredibly happy to announce that after a lot of hard work behind the scenes, we’ve officially landed our very first affiliate code!
Using this code not only guarantees you a sweet discount on your new «stealth tech», but it directly helps fund this website. Don’t worry, our vibe isn’t changing. We will continue working with high-quality brands to bring you the exact same brutally honest, comedic content you’re used to.
If you had a good laugh today and want to support the blog even further, you can click on my Educoffee and literally buy me a coffee to keep the engine running.
What did you think of today’s list? What other wild topics or weird gadgets would you love to see me review next? Drop all your ideas in the comments below. Stay stealthy! 🤫😮💨
We’ve all seen it. That iconic, hilarious, and slightly cringeworthy scene from Scary Movie where Doofy takes his «love» for his vacuum cleaner a bit too far. While the movie played it for laughs, it actually touched on a practice that has since exploded in the world of sexual wellness: Vacuum Play.
If you’ve ever been curious about why suction-based pleasure is such a game-changer, or if you’re looking to level up your solo sessions, you’re in the right place. Today, we’re breaking down the science, the sensations, and the safe way to explore this intense form of stimulation.
What Exactly is Vacuum Play?
In simple terms, vacuum play involves using negative pressure to stimulate the genitals. Unlike traditional masturbation, which relies on friction (the back-and-forth rubbing of hands or toys), vacuum play uses suction to «pull» on the tissue.
This creates an all-encompassing sensation that surrounds the nerves, making it a favorite for people of all genders looking for a «fuller» and more consistent experience.
6 Reasons Why Vacuum Play is More Intense Than «Gooning»
Many enthusiasts describe vacuum-based pleasure as more satisfying and «complete» than traditional manual stimulation or long-term gooning sessions. Here is why:
1. Consistent and Uniform Stimulation
Unlike a hand, which can vary in grip, speed, and angle, a vacuum device provides steady, even pressure. This constant engagement reaches both superficial and deeper nerve endings simultaneously, creating a sensation of «fullness» that is physically impossible to achieve manually.
2. The Unique «Hugging» Sensation
The defining feature of this practice is the suction effect. By creating negative pressure, the device gently pulls on the tissue, creating a persistent tug. Users often describe it as being «hugged from the inside out.» It activates internal nerve pathways that touch alone simply cannot reach.
https://www.freepik.com/author/gstudioimagen
3. Increased Blood Flow (Vascularization)
The vacuum effect draws blood to the surface of the skin. This leads to increased sensitivity and a temporary swelling of the tissues, making every micro-sensation feel magnified. In this state, your body becomes hyper-responsive to even the slightest change in pressure.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
4. Precision Control and Intensity
Modern vacuum devices allow you to fine-tune the suction levels. You can start with a whisper-light tug and build up to an intense, thumping climax. This level of customization ensures that every session feels fresh and tailored to your current mood.
https://www.freepik.com/author/rawpixel-com
5. The Psychological Edge
Pleasure is as much mental as it is physical. Introducing a novel tool like a vacuum device breaks the routine and triggers the brain’s reward system. The novelty, paired with the intense physical feedback, keeps you «in the zone» and can lead to more powerful orgasms.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
6. Anatomical Benefits
For those with a penis: It mimics a deep, continuous «throating» or penetration-like sensation, stimulating the glans and shaft in ways a hand cannot.
https://www.freepik.com/author/freepik
For those with a vulva: «Air-pulse» technology has revolutionized pleasure by stimulating the clitoris without direct, painful friction, allowing for multiple, rapid-fire orgasms.
⚠️ Safety First: Don’t Be a «Doofy»
We have to be real for a second: Never use a household vacuum cleaner. While the movie was funny, the real-life consequences of using a carpet cleaner on your body are no joke.
https://www.freepik.com/author/juicy-fish
CRITICAL SAFETY NOTE: Household vacuums have high-torque motors, jagged internal parts, and zero safety valves. Using one can cause severe hematomas (burst blood vessels), skin tearing, and long-term nerve damage. Plus, they are full of bacteria and dust—definitely not something you want near your most sensitive areas.
How to Practice Safely:
Use Dedicated Devices: Invest in high-quality, body-safe pumps or suction toys. They are designed with safety release valves and medical-grade materials.
Lube is Your Best Friend: Always use a water-based lubricant to create a proper seal and protect your skin from irritation.
The 15-Minute Rule: Avoid prolonged suction sessions. Start slow, and if you notice any pain or dark bruising, release the pressure immediately.
Conclusion: Is Vacuum Play Right for You?
If you are looking for a sensation that is consistent, intense, and different from anything you can do with your hands, Vacuum Play is a must-try. It’s a safe and exciting way to explore your body’s limits and discover new peaks of pleasure.
In our upcoming posts, we’ll be reviewing some of the top-rated suction devices on the market to help you find your perfect match.
Have you ever tried a suction-based toy? Are you curious about the difference between air-pulse tech and traditional pumps? Let us know in the comments below!
