Depth Training

If you thought that training for width was going to help you take something longer… I hope you can forgive me for bursting your bubble.

I learned the hard way, but after wrestling with beasts like the Seahorse and Beowulf twice a week, I am officially qualified to guide you through this naughty endeavor.

Love and meet your body

We’ve all heard those cliché quotes: «Love your body,» «It’s perfect the way it is.» Sorry to break it to the people who think that applies universally, but you actually have to get to know your body. Take it out for a coffee, go on a date, listen to it, and learn exactly how it works.

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We all know the basic anatomy of the backdoor. But if you want to play in the big leagues, you need to understand that your inner Anubis can’t handle all that power alone.

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Let’s do some basic math. You want to take, say, 30 cm of length, but you only have about 20 cm of space available between the rectum and the planet Uranus (don’t kill me for the pun). As you can see, the math ain’t mathing.

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You don’t have enough runway for those sizes. You are going to need help from your new best friend: the «sigma male» of your anatomy (Thomas shelby), the sigmoid colon. And as many of you know, this guy wasn’t exactly designed for these kinds of activities

Sigmoideus

This name might remind some of us of a supervillain name. Well, this buddy is in charge of closing the gates of the feces. He isn’t made for taking a U.L.O. (Unidentified Large Object), so you have to treat him as the queen he really is, with touch and being very careful.

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You can have some personal harm that might accompany you all your life, so don’t push yourself. Try easy, starting with easy tasks and adding some difficulty to him (Bloodbath Extreme Demon).

Pro-tip, this is a pro-tip I hope you never have to do: if you achieved enough length and width you could push with your fingers this tube, a move you are lucky enough to apply before going to emergencies.

Well, if the toy with a mushroom head got inside and doesn’t want to come out, you have to be prepared for two concepts: if you rush you are dead ‘cause of the pain, and the idea of this movement is pushing the sigmoid walls enough with your fingers for letting the stuck object go out.

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If you can’t do it, pls go to emergencies. They won’t leave you with that inside you.

Training this little buddy needs thin toys, not bigger. Remember this is part of your intestines, so if you dig in the mine you will get dirty even if you clean it .

The Final Lap

If you really want to improve, don’t search the sigmoid, really don’t do it, just flow with it. Trying to train length without the proper skills will send you to the hospital. An apple a day won’t keep your doctor away! .

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As always, clean your hands before touching it, don’t try to scratch it or push more. It’s better quitting too early than having an injury that won’t let you do this trick again.

Don’t clean the sigmoid with water unless you want to be a brown fountain all day. Despite all of this, don’t put all the weight of your body over a toy that you can’t take; this will lead you into a perforated bowel.

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This is very dangerous, even extreme, if you don’t do it with proper material, skills, and precautions. I’m tired of saying the same things, but with great powers comes great responsibility, and using a 1 kg stick is a lot of power.

Conclusion

This isn’t a joke activity, nevertheless it isn’t an easy task, only the best soldiers will survive this. We are talking specifically about the Spartans, who, for those who don’t know, liked a bit too much the mechanic of fighting with swords as «good friends».

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Many doctors will say don’t do it, and they are completely right. It is a creepy way of destroying your body; it would be a 4!/10 on the cigarette scale, so very radical shit you know , Jack butt 2 and those creepy series. .

If you are really reading this you are very weird, not like me, because I’m not the type of person that creates a web talking about those gay things you know. Weirdos! I hope you loved all this speech, I love you, your families, your parents, your pets, your booty. See you soon, don’t forget to share if you love this content 🙂