Mind before the fist

A couple of weeks ago, I made a post on Reddit where I shared some tips I wish I had known before getting into this practice. Some of them came straight from my own mistakes; others came from digging around the internet and learning things the hard way. What I didn’t expect was that so many FF veterans would jump into the discussion and drop some of the best advice I’ve ever read on the subject.

Honestly, it felt like skipping years of trial and error in a single thread.

Size doesn’t matter (and that’s not just a slogan)

Most of them talked about something far more important than passion or size: choosing your top with empathy and intelligence.

First of all the fisting community works like a market, whether we like the comparison or not. Everyone wants the best possible product, the best possible experience—and that applies to both sides. But no matter how good the “hardware” looks on paper, it’s useless if the person behind it doesn’t know how to use it properly.

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You don’t want to practice anything with someone who doesn’t communicate, doesn’t listen, or brushes off your needs. That’s a red flag, not a challenge to overcome.

A lot of empathy is required, and it goes both ways. Sharing experiences as both top and bottom helps more than people tend to admit. When you’ve been on both sides, you learn what actually works in practice and what only sounds good in theory. In the end, it’s simple: give what you’d like to receive.

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Trust is the real engine here, and it matters far more than porn makes it seem. Without trust, everything else is just noise.

Porn is not real life (even if your brain sometimes forgets)

We all know porn isn’t real life. Most of us have hired a plumber at some point, and none of us ended up giving him a handjob. As obvious as that sounds, your brain doesn’t always get the message.

You can’t compare yourself to someone who’s been doing this for years, has a completely different body, weighs differently, or simply has way more free time than you. A lot of P🌟 do this for a living—you could call them high-performance athletes. The rest of us? Weekend warriors at best.

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Movie magic applies here too. How big something looks depends on camera angles, distance, perspective, the size of the toy compared to the person, and how close the camera is. Reality plays by different rules.

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And of course, porn never shows the boring parts: the preparation, the patience, the communication. Just a few kisses, a hard cut, and suddenly we’re at the finish line. Real life doesn’t work like that, no matter how much we wish it did.

Three short tips in one (because common sense still matters)

Would you rather drive a Seat León or a Lamborghini? If I had to choose, I know which keys I’m grabbing. The same logic applies to sex toys and lube.

Don’t buy unsafe or low-quality products. Pay attention to what you’re actually purchasing: the material, whether it’s body-safe, the type of lube you’re using, and whether the toy really suits your body. Just like you wouldn’t buy a video game your PC can’t run, you shouldn’t buy a toy your body can’t handle. Your body is a machine too—and it doesn’t come with unlimited upgrades.

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People always say, “Lube is your best friend,” but they usually stop there. The full sentence should be: lube is your best friend, but only if you choose the right one. And don’t try to reinvent the wheel—if a lube comes highly recommended, stick to it. Don’t start playing mad scientist in your kitchen expecting a homemade experiment to work just as well as something designed for the job.

Manicures aren’t just for women

You wouldn’t let someone you don’t trust walk into your house—and you certainly wouldn’t let them into your body if it could lead to bleeding. Treat your ass the same way you treat your home: only trusted guests, handled with care

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Learn how to bottom sober—without poppers or any other drugs. Pain exists for a reason: it’s your body waving a red flag, telling you something is wrong. Ignoring those signals is like driving blind. However , don’t try to outsmart your body—evolution made it this way for a reason.

Also your ass is very sensitive, it bleeds easily, and you need to stay aware of what’s happening at all times. Ignoring that doesn’t make you brave—it just makes you injured.

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So yeah, forget the myths and the highlight reels. Go slow, choose well, use your head as much as your body, and don’t try to “win” at this. There’s nothing to prove, even though it may feel like you need to. If everyone involved feels safe, heard, and satisfied, you’re already doing it right. Just flow with your body and act wisely after hearing it. I hope this resume helps as well as they served to me . See you soon !!!