This little friend arrived courtesy of a magical owl from Hoggarts. It’s even stronger than BalderMort’s weird stick. Synchronized with a magical vibration, this wand could turn you into stone… and scream louder than a Mandrake. That’s exactly why this toy has its name.
Unboxing
Let’s skip this part faster than usual. If you’ve read our previous reviews, you already know how Funzze handles its packaging. You receive a discreet outer box, and inside there’s another box containing the product, along with a small storage bag to help keep everything clean with magnetic charger and 3 hoods.
This time, the toy comes with three interchangeable heads. Three mysterious attachments… (La pinta , la niña y la santa maria ).
The product
I must tell the truth: I don’t have a clit, nor do I have a partner to share this with. (🎻🎶🎵 SAD MUSIC). So I’ve reached the highest level of mastery over this deadly weapon. I tried the product in every way I could think of.
External vibes and internal vibes—we’ll talk more about those later. Overall, it’s a fairly ordinary product. However, it wasn’t noisy at all, which is always a nice surprise. The vibration strength was also quite good.
With 10 vibration modes, I’m sure you won’t complain about the variety.
…Or maybe you will anyway.
It’s actually a very nice product, and this time I won’t complain about the price. I’ve seen similar toys from other brands that cost considerably more. So yes, I think this one is reasonably priced.
Now let’s make a simple explanation unnecessarily complicated.
We’ll distinguish between the Rogue Grip (hehehe) and the Wizard Grip, just to give everything a more mythical atmosphere.
The Traitor Grip (or Rogue)is exactly what it sounds like: hold the toy as if it were a dagger you were about to stab someone in the back with. Also the Tip points toward the floor. This handle is large enough to feel comfortable in your hand, and the vibrations don’t really travel back into your grip, making it comfortable even during longer sessions.
The Wizard Grip… well, the name is already screaming «Wingardium Leviosa!» You get the joke because it’s a wand and ….well and it shapes …. . Just laugh you bunch of maggots.
H.P. (Help me please.)
As terrible as these jokes are, they’re still somehow fun.
Now let’s talk about why you shouldn’t stab your partner when you can simply cast a spell instead.
I won’t go into any more detail—you get the point.
Thanks for letting me steal one minute of your miserable life.
That’s one minute closer to D.E.A.T.H.
Destroying Expectations And Time.
…Or just death.
Cleaning & Waterproof
This will be a very short quote. It is very easy to clean and waterproof. Did you read that I wrote that I think that I saw that it is easy to clean? Well, now you have to dry the toy if you don’t want mushroom kingdom inside your ****** .
The Hydra of 3 heads
The finger, the tongue and the nipple (the brush). Well, I only used the head without any DLC like this. But while creating the review, I was reading the comments about this product and I found this comment.
That encouraged me to test some of the ideas that were shown in this comment. And let me rate that: using the brush on the 3rd mode and grabbing it like a mixer, moving my hand in circles, is so much better than the description sounds.
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/mdjaff
I tested the nipples. I’m a very sensitive nipple person, so pleasure with or without pain is on the list. So, the tongue and the brush give you a mix of pain and pleasure. It’s okay, you won’t have an explosive orgasm with chocolate flavour, but your neighbours won’t think you have a mandrake in your house.
The finger is a good option for the frenulum 🧐. I mean, for preliminaries, it is overpowered. You can’t stay still with this toy. I had to focus on not moving, and I couldn’t.
Pro tips: For genitals with a penis.
Try the brush and brush the «testicles» 🧐. It feels so sensorial; it’s better than a massage, trust me.
Curiosities
I «discovered» that a vibration of 28,000 RPM (actually F = 466.67 Hz 🧐☝️), which is a low frequency if we talk about tech devices, could make a raindrop spin as UCM (Uniform Circular Motion), which is so cool, at least for me. Just a silly curiosity.
If we have the frequency of a toy and it spins around an edge, we can have an approximation of the angular speed. Which is:
w = 2 × Pi × F
w = 2932.174 rad/s
https://www.magnific.com/es/autor/magnific
And the speed that a raindrop would have if it was moving on a flat surface would be:
V = w × 1.37 cm (1.37 cm radius)
V = 40.17 m/s
Which is nice.
The speed force is calling you.
Conclusion
You shouldn’t buy this because I tell you to—it’s your choice. However, I think this product, with its three interchangeable heads, is a fantastic option if you’re buying your first sex toy and don’t have a lot of cash. For the price, it’s genuinely a very good product.
Is it worth it? I’d say yes. It’s as versatile as your imagination allows. While many other products are designed with a specific gender in mind, this one is much more flexible if you’re creative and know how to use it properly.
Good price, waterproof, magnetic charging, and a surprising variety of uses.
Jokes aside, I’d give this product a solid 8.75/10.
I can confidently say that because when I received this product for review, I was honestly wondering how I was supposed to review it without having a vulva.
Thank you for taking the time to read this review, and a huge thanks to Funzzefor trusting us once again.
If you enjoy this style of reviews, the random curiosities, or just following our weird adventures, I’d really appreciate it if you shared this post with your friends.
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